And the Thing That We Do
by ShinyAbsol
Summary: Max is so used to her routine with Caroline that she's never really thought about any of their habits, until she makes a slip-up. T for banter content.


**A/N: First fanfiction, ever. I hope it's in character and the formatting isn't too awful. Heck, I had to go back and edit the story to add this note in 'cause I'm still getting the hang of things. :P**

* * *

"Caroline," mumbled the busty brunette as she shifted beneath the silk sheets. Her legs moved to stretch at the same time her head nestled into the warm body against her front.

"Mmm… what?" replied a groggy and seemingly masculine voice.

Her eyes snapped open. Oh no. Max was not at home and the naked form beside her wasn't her roommate.

"Uh, nothing!" she quipped, sitting up and covering herself swiftly with the top sheet.

Her now quite obviously male counterpart lay on his side facing her, his head held up by one hand.

"Did you just call me a woman?" he asked, a grin spreading across his facial features.  
_Wow,_ Max thought. _He's got the right amount of stubble and perfect teeth. How did I end up in suburbia with someone so freakin' sexy… and then wake up thinking of Blondie?_

"No, it's just, um, well," Max swallowed. How was she going to explain this without humiliating herself? She laughed nervously.  
"You see, it's just this stupid thing my roommate and I do. I-It's nothing really."

"Your roommate is a girl, right?" asked the hot guy that Max had gone home with the night before. Looking at him, she gulped again. Damn, she'd gotten lucky. And now she'd gone and embarrassed herself by blurting Caroline's name first thing in the morning.

"Sounds kinky," Mr. Hot continued. "Tell me, what is this 'thing' you do?"

"H-How did you know my roommate was a girl?" Max asked, picking up her shirt and coat from the floor and heading toward what she figured was the bathroom.

"You talked about her non-stop last night," Mr. Hot replied. "Is there something going on there? Because I'm cool with getting in on that if you are."  
Max ran into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

_Thud._  
Seeing no other way out, she'd decided to fake fainting.

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Earl started, filling up his coffee cup behind the counter of the Williamsburg Diner. "Or should I say, let me get this _gay_?"

"Earl, this isn't funny," Max deadpanned, arms crossed over her mustard-and-tomato standard uniform.

"I'll say. You went home with a man you picked up at a bar who you claim to be 'sex on legs', and then babbled in his ear all night about _Caroline_? Girl, either you're so whipped by Miss Priss that you don't see beyond those cheese stick legs or you got a thing for your homie. And I know a thing or two about how those situations end – it ain't pretty. Why, in 1975 –"

_Ding!_

"Pick up. Ham and tomato grilled sandwich," purred Oleg at the window behind them. "And Max, couldn't help but overhear. I think you should go for it. Make sure you bring video camera when you confess your undying love and have sexy times afterward."

Max rolled her eyes.

"I do _not_ have a thing for Caroline."

As her best friend's name finished leaving her mouth, said girl waltzed into the diner.

"Is Han around?" she asked no one in particular, head swivelling in every direction.

"Nah girl, you're good," replied Earl, steadily heading back to his place at the front of the diner. "Han said he had a meeting. Hell, we all should've come in an hour late."

"Where have you been?" Max chided, placing Table 4's ham and tomato sandwich before the hungry customer.

"Why, were you worried about me?" Caroline giggled.

Oleg's head popped back up at the window.  
"You could say that," he offered, before quickly disappearing again.

"Weird," Caroline muttered, shifting her gaze back to her cupcake-baking friend. "Max, I was totally kidding by the way; I know you don't worry about anything. Anyway, I'm only late because –"  
"Wait, back up a minute," Max interjected. "You think I don't worry about anything?"

"Pfft, yeah," Caroline shot back as she puffed her hair out.  
Max thought for a moment, tilting her head.

"Yeah, good point Taylor Swift," she shrugged. "Me worrying about things would be like saying the diner is a five-star restaurant with friendly service."  
Max laughed at her own joke, taking a cupcake from the rack on the counter and plating it up for an order.

* * *

"Wait," Caroline's arms swept the air before her in an effort to clear her confusion. "You're telling me that Max's date went bust because she was too busy talking about _me_?"

"That's what Oleg tells me," Sophie answered as she munched on a lemon meringue cupcake. The crumbs rolled down one of her usual sparkly dresses as she chewed. "Of course, why she was talking about _you_ I don't know. Maybe the business world has gotten to her. Poor baby."

"I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that last part and ask you what else you know."  
Sophie shrugged.  
"That's all he said while we were getting frisky on his break. Anyway, I'd better go. I just stopped by to get my cupcake before I hit the gym."

"But I can't ask her," Caroline retorted. "She ran off once I started waiting tables and she hasn't been back in since. I didn't even get to tell her about the business opportunity I scored us!"

Sighing as Sophie sauntered back onto the streets of New York, Caroline turned and pushed open the door to the kitchen, now pining for answers.

"Oleg!" she called, but paused as she found him unscrewing a large jar of mayonnaise.  
"Please tell me that's mayo," she pleaded, pointing an accusing finger at the jar.

"But of course it is mayonnaise," said Oleg. "You know that I know that you know that Sophie and I have already made love this afternoon."  
"Right, well," Caroline cleared her throat. "What's all this about Max going on a bad date? Apparently it has something to do with me and she's been avoiding me all day."

"Max has had astounding revelation," Oleg answered as he filled a squeeze bottle to the brim with mayonnaise. "She is gay for you."

* * *

Loudly shutting the door to their apartment to announce her entrance, Caroline then stormed into Max's bedroom.

"Whoa, whoa, boundaries!" Max cried, shoving the magazine she'd been reading beneath her mattress.

"Oh, you wanna talk about boundaries, Max?" Caroline demanded, feet firmly rooted to the spot as though she were getting ready to pick a fight. "You got propositioned by some guy for a threesome because you told him that we cuddle when it's cold and then after you got rid of _him_ you told Oleg that you've got a lesbian crush on me? Max, you've been having homosexual thoughts about me and you practically told everyone else _but me_!"

"Back up, cowgirl!" Max shouted, rising to her feet. "I did not say anything about having a crush on you. I – that – _clearly_ that was all Oleg! I can't believe he'd say that! Well, actually I can but – "  
"Max," Caroline interrupted, hoping she'd take this conversation seriously. "Is it true though?"

"Is what true? I mean yeah, we cuddle when it's cold out but _pssht_ you already knew that, it's not like it's news or anything."  
"Not that," said Caroline. "Why would I be mad about that? I like it when we cuddle. It's comforting. I mean the other thing."  
"Oh, uh, that. I was hoping you wouldn't ask about that."

Max's face had gone as red as the apron she wore daily, and Caroline couldn't help but think it was a cute new side of her – shy. That seemed to calm her down almost instantly.

"Max, it's fine. Whatever your answer is, you're still my best friend and I love you."

"I, uh," Max began, choking on her words. "I don't know what this is. I wouldn't call it a crush but damn girl you're _hella_ attractive and I guess I didn't realise how close we are now I mean even though we live together and we work together I guess it just didn't hit me like that bus that hit that poor woman last week when she was picking up donuts to take back to –"

"Max, slow down," Caroline chuckled, amused by her nervous rant. "It's okay. I… kinda like you too. In that way."  
"What?" Max spat, looking at her in disbelief. "You do? Are you _blind? Crazy? Both? _Am I gonna have to visit you on weekends?"

"No," Caroline laughed. "Don't be so dramatic."  
"Um, pot, meet kettle."  
"Shut up. C'mere."

Max slowly trudged over to Caroline, who pulled her in for a hug.  
"I don't know what this is either. But I like it when you spoon me. It's nice."

"Hey, I'm totally used to being the big spoon. Women," Max chuckled awkwardly.  
"Let's just… take this slow. You know, see where it goes."  
"A-All right. Let's do that. Totally taking this slow. Girl, I can get on board," Max rambled, trying to be cool.

Caroline rolled her eyes but couldn't keep the fondness out of them.  
"So anyway, I scored us this golden ticket to get the cupcake business booming earlier today. You wanna hear it?"

Max smiled as things began to ease back into normality.

"Sure."  
"One thing though. The weatherman predicted snow for tonight, so let me change into my pyjamas first and we'll…"  
"Do that thing that we do?" Max finished.  
"Yeah, that weird in-between-friendship-and-lovers cuddling thing that we do," Caroline beamed.


End file.
